After having a kid, it can weigh heavily on parents when they go back to their normal lifestyle. Some go back to work, or return to normal habits that keep them out of the house and away from their children. Others may have responsibilities they can’t shirk once their kids are at an age where they can spend time apart. So why does the guilt of leaving them behind sit on a parent’s shoulders, with the worry they aren’t dedicating enough time to family time? The simple answer is overthinking. Returning to normal life, even if it is altered to make more time for your loved ones, is a normal process and is actually healthy for all involved. So why is it important to ignore that nagging guilt and pursue your goals, career or socializing rather than avoid them?
By creating a schedule that includes you leaving and spending time away from your kids, it forces them to learn healthy adjustments and adaptability. It is important children learn from a young age how to solve their own problems, so later in life they don’t rely on others to fix their issues. If you create a safe space where they can figure out their own confusions and learn to be independent, you are making a brighter future for people who can adapt and change to match their surroundings when needed.
If your kids are forced to understand that you can’t be with them all the time, they will apply this fact later in life as well. It is imperative that children realize there will be times when they will be alone, or without you there to fulfill their every need if even for a short time. Well adjusted adults come from families who spend time together, as well as separately. However, it is important to make the most of your times as a unit, so that those times have a positive impact on your child’s mindset regarding family and togetherness.
Goal Oriented/ Motivated lifestyles
If you are goal oriented and motivated, those traits will rub off on your kids in a positive manner. Showing them there is a balance between drive and over-achieving is important, and will help guide your children on a path to pursue their goals, while still maintaining a realistic mindset.
In a world dominated by social media and constant interaction, space from your kids in the form of work, socializing or events they aren’t a part of will show them it is okay to be alone. Everyone should grow up understanding you don’t need constant validation from the outside world to be happy with yourself.
Busy and motivated parents can inspire their children to be positively radiant and motivated in their adult lives, as long as they remember to include and maximize family time. The need for feeling guilt after having a baby has no room in a life full of both goals and love, so stop worrying that your busy lifestyle will have a negative impact, as long as you strike a healthy balance.